7/15/12

Caged 囚

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"Caged  囚"  (model: Justina Woo)

 (English version below)

洐生小說:



在灰矇矇的天色下,那一片淒迷昏黃的燈海淹沒了整個城市。

過於炫目刺眼的燈光,像是誇耀著當中的璀燦繁華,她瞇起眼睛,勉強能看到一個個在移動著的黑點。

聯想到他們是一群勞累奔波的人,為了糊口,腳步連一刻也不能停下來,她迷迷糊糊的想著,明明自己也曾經像他們一樣為了生活而焦慮不安,但這一切現在對她來說卻是如此的陌生

咯,咯。

靈敏的聽覺讓她一下子便能聽見從遠方傳來的聲音,從混沌的思緒抽身,回過神的時侯,那個人已經在她的面前,她趕忙在面上掛起一絲微笑,一雙杏眼直直的看著對方。

這些年來,那個人依然把頭髮梳得一絲不苛,衣物熨得筆直貼服,他在外表上似乎沒有什麼改變,但仔細一看,架在鼻樑上的眼鏡款式不同了,而在鏡框後看著她的眼神也一樣變了。

大概是感受到她那雖然不具威脅,卻明顯期待著什麼的目光,那個人立刻移開視線,瞬速放下晚飯,然後頭也不回地轉身離去。

不知是從哪時開始,他不再逗著自己,事事敷洐,眼神也不再熱刺。她深知箇中原因,但依然不斷裝傻,不斷找藉口逃避現實,自我安慰。

那個人放下的晚飯,依然精緻,但她卻失了胃口,食之無味。

或許自己已經過著足以讓同伴羨慕嫉妒的人生,畢竟從百花爭寵鬥艷中奪穎而出,從此不再需要捱艱抵餓。

那時侯雖然明知即將淪為禁臠,被褫奪自由,她心裡不是一樣雀躍期待,憧憬將來。

現在是過去的未來,這樣的未來──不再擔憂溫飽,但同時所有的喜怒哀樂也加附在一個人身上,對方一旦不再把注意力放在她身上,她便什麼也不是──既可笑又可悲。

雖然拚命不想成為一個怨婦,但她也真的倦了,眼眶卻是乾的,什麼也哭不出來。

無意識下,她的視線落在被外面的光線折射的閃閃發亮的金鎖,然後她才發現,原來自由近在咫尺。

呼吸瞬間變得凌亂,她巍顫地推了推門,金鎖瞬間落地。

呆愣半久,她才想起,自己可以揮動翅膀,輕而易舉地離開這所地方。

她曾是百鳥之后,但日復日年復年被人豢養的生活,不單讓她精神脫軌,如今居然連生存本能也忘得一乾二淨。

拖著如此疲憊的身軀,她早已飛不起來,想到這裡,她突然笑了,失心瘋般瘋狂地笑了,笑得比哭更難看,更哀戚。

她原以為囚禁著她的是一個鳥籠,但其實她的身體已被調教得殘缺不堪。

鳥籠外那片廣闊的天空也從此與她再無牽連。

-完-

Inspired Story:


Caged  

(translated by Jaime Chu: j----me.tumblr.com)

Under the dusky sky, a bleak and muddy yellow sea of light has flooded the city.

The piercing glare seems to be boasting of its bustling glory within. She squints, and vaguely makes out a few dark spots in motion, one after another.

People who are tired from their own restlessness, she thought, dazed. People who couldn’t afford to slow down for one second for the sake a warm meal at the end of the day. She used to be one of them, but now everything seems foreign.

Clack. Clack.

She hears two cackles from afar right away, thanks to her sensitive hearing. Tearing herself away from the muddle of thoughts, right when she returns to her senses, someone has already appeared before her. She hastens to put a smile on her face. She looks, with eyes shaped like hazelnuts, straight at him.

After all these years, his hair is still perfectly coiffed, his clothes still neatly pressed, he doesn't seem to have changed. But a closer inspection reveals that the pair of glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose are in a different style; and behind the frame, how he looks at her has also changed.

Perhaps perceiving the non-threatening, though clearly anticipating expression in her eyes, he immediately shifts his gaze. He quickly puts down the dinner, turns around, and leaves.

It isn’t clear when it started, but at some point, he has stopped kidding himself. He has stopped caring; he no longer has the same fire in his eyes. She knows the reason, but she pretends she doesn’t. She keeps looking for reasons to avoid the truth, to somehow make herself feel better.

The food that he has brought still looks exquisite. But she has lost her appetite. It has lost its taste.

Perhaps the life she is leading is enough for any of her peers to be jealous of. After all, in the game of survival of the most beautiful, she emerged triumphant. She never has to shiver or starve again.

At the time, even though she knew she would soon become forbidden goods, stripped of freedom, her heart was still full of excitement and anticipation, visions for the future.

The present is the future of the past. But this kind of future — where, though physical hunger is no longer a concern, her emotional health is now dependent on the attention of one person, where she is nothing if not something to him — is a farce and a tragedy.

She has tried hard not to turn bitter and sour, but she is tired. No tears would come out of her dried eyes.

Unconsciously, her gaze falls on the golden lock that is sparkling from the refraction of the lights outside. And then she realizes, freedom has always been this close.

Suddenly, her breath flutters. She pushes the door open with a tremble. The lock immediately falls to the ground.

Overcome by a trance, she then recovers and remembers: she has wings. So they begin to flap, and she leaves without looking back.

She was the queen of birds, but years after years of being taken care of this way has damaged her mind. She has also forgotten her instincts.

Dragging an exhausted body behind, she could no longer launch into mid-air. Suddenly, she laughs. She laughs like it would drain all the blood out of her heart. Her laughter has more sorrow than tears.

She has thought it was a cage that imprisoned her. But it was also her body that has learned to adapt, and has been compromised. The open sky outside the bird cage has stopped being her concern a long time ago.

-Finis

behind the scenes

I’m really scared of height, so every time when I'm shooting at somewhere high, I would need someone to stabilize my body, so special thanks to Jessie for all of the help on that day. (btw If everyone is into concert photography, you should go check out her work: http://www.jessielau.com/. :P she's a great concert photographer!)

This photo shoot meant a lot for me, not only because it was the first time the three of us (Jessie, Justina and I) did a shoot together (we all met in a harry potter online forum 10 years ago, long story, I'll get to that when I have time :P) but also it's the first image that I created with a story go with it.

Writing (Chinese) used to be my biggest hobby before I picked up the camera, therefore, I always wanted to write stories that can go with the images that I've created and the written stories are not supposed to illustrate the images literally; they could just have the hint of it, or contain the same atmosphere. I finally found myself to have the time / motivation / inspiration to try this idea and so far, I've enjoyed the process a lot and I hope some of you will enjoy it as well. (Unfortunately, there will be only Chinese version until someone is willing to do the translation. T__T) 

Update: (July 16):  
A friend of mine, Jaime, did a wonderful translation for the story! :D Thank you so much. I can't say enough.

2 comments:

Adam Rowney said...

Omg I adore this image <3 The light is incredible, and everything about it is just asdfghjkl <3

WolfinNDNclothing said...

Nice headdress chief.